And if I, as an archer, sinned to the right, I simply drew another arrow from my quiver, nocked it, adjusted my aim a bit to the left, and went for it again. I did this over and over, until I achieved my desired level of accuracy.

As a modern day spiritual warrior, the same modus operandi applies – about any target for which I want more mastery (eg, more compassion, boldness, commitment to specific goals, being a better mother, grandmother, trainer, coach, etc.). I go for it full out, notice if I hit/miss my intended mark, discern where I was on/off, choose my course correction, and go for it again …enjoying the challenge of honing my warriorhood.

No beat up, no blaming, no excusing, no whining, no quitting – just being the best I can be.
PS Once I attain mastery on one target, life either moves the target, shifts the wind, or makes the target smaller – developing my proficiency/wisdom even further. So I suspect there is an endless stream of “next targets” for me to master; at least that’s how it’s been so far.

Darcy, Darcy, Fancy Lady … yeah, you knew how to spiff things up so they came out fancy and elegant! Whether you were creating ‘wearable art’ or mystical pictures or ethereal portraits, you were in a class all your own. I watched you bring magic to your homes, your loved ones and those of us who were lucky enough to be in your presence.

Oh, did I mention your beautiful voice and your piano playing? No? Well let me say that hearing you sing, and especially when you were singing with your daughter, Dawn, there was love in the air.

Yes, you could be stubborn. I did run into that part of you every now and then; and you made that stubbornness work for you when you got your mind set on something you wanted to make happen – whether it was transforming yourself, recovering from your stroke, or manifesting your art so that it matched the image in your head.

I hope you know that you touched the lives of many people in deeply connecting ways. You enriched your family and friends, as well as our community for almost 30 years with your determination, your gentle pursuit of the truth, and the generousness of your heart. You made a real difference in our world.

I’m going to miss you, Darcy. Personally, I’ll miss knowing that I can go shopping with you, borrow your clothes, run over to your house to sew up a rip, debrief about some event or another; get your input about the enrichment groups, and all the other projects we were a part of. I’ll miss your artistry.

PS You were Hayleigh’s only Fairy Godmother. Now she doesn’t have one, and I’m requesting that you continue that relationship as her AFG – Angelic Fairy Godmother.

PPS We’ll be celebrating Darcy’s life this Sunday, April 29. The pic on the left is Darcy all glammed up, and the one on the right is with her husband, Ed Nutter.

Dr. Brad Brown’s definition (delivered during a training to someone who  was acting bored): giving the finger to God; refusing to engage in the  moment that is on offer – a moment in which there is an inherent opportunity to invest yourself fully, tell the truth completely and contribute to the sanctity of that moment. That moment is the only one on offer, you never get it back.
I’ve not been bored since!

The issue is when my vision/goal consumes me to the point where the rest of my world isn’t even a blip on my radar. I lose perspective. Work/life balance? What’s that? Who cares? I have a mission to accomplish or a child to raise or someone to make happy.

Richard Perry, another senior trainer in the More To Life program, once said, “Ann, you are more than a senior trainer.” My thought at the time was, “So?” I didn’t get it. So he said it a few more times over the ensuing years. Yes, years. A few years ago, I finally copped to what he was saying.

Indeed, I am more than a mother/grandmother, more than a senior trainer, more than a partner in TriVergent International, more than a coach, etc. *I* am all those things, and much more. My intention is to own my dreams/goals/visions, not be absorbed by them – to keep an eagle’s perspective, seeing the whole landscape of my life, as well as those important details.

I keep coming back to the basics – balancing all three contexts of my life – caring for my body/mind/spirit, attending to the relationships in my life, and devoting myself to the Big Picture/God/Life/Universal Spirit/The Force.

Thank you, Belynda for reminding me .. and Richard for hanging in.

 It seems to me that shame has two distinct qualities – one reconfirms the truth and  reclaims our innate goodness. The other reconfirms our belief in our unworthiness and  sinks us lower into our self-indulgence.
One of my shameful behaviors was promising to take Rebecca (about 9 years old) early  to her softball game, so she could warm up as the pitcher for that day – a slot she had  been vying for. I could have ended my meeting on time, but I didn’t watch the clock,  arriving too late for Rebecca to warm up. She didn’t get to pitch that day, nor any day  thereafter – closing a meaningful opportunity for her in exchange for my self-indulgence.  Bottom line, I behaved as if my meeting were more important than her chance to shine.  And truthfully, that meeting was not important, I was just enjoying myself and the group.

My toxic shame was born of this mindtalk: I’m a bad mother, I only care about myself, I told her I’d be there, and I wasn’t, so I can’t be counted on, I’m irresponsible, she deserves a better mother, etc. The upside of wallowing in this kind of mindtalk is that, if I were to believe all that, it absolves me of irresponsible behavior in the future. What can anyone expect of someone who’s essentially a bad mother?

Fortunately, via the Clearing Process (taught in the More To Life Weekend), I was able to look at the above mindtalk and tell the truth – the truth about how much I care about Rebecca and what matters to her. I felt the holy side of shame for having betrayed my true priorities. Holy Shame (or it’s milder sibling “Holy Embarrassment” and even milder cousin “Holy Chagrin”) served to re-double my intention to act within my true value system, to take full responsibility for the quality of my life and for my relationship with Rebecca – including more discernment about what commitments I could realistically keep and which I couldn’t.

Holy Shame is like the fire that burns away the dross, reveals the indestructible core, and calls us to live our higher self.

If I don’t love myself, I’m dependent on you to do  it for me.
Do you really want that job?

Guidelines to Love -

KBB

We are The Fire

We just completed Lighting The Fire Within. Here are a few  people sharing about their experience and a photo of the group. 

 It was one of the most fun weeks  of my life – whizzing through the  forest canopy on 8 different zip  lines and 2 straight-vertical  rappels, whitewater rafting the  Coto Brus River, walking tour of  the Manuel Antonio National  Park (chock full of wild life), body  surfing Pacific Ocean waves, fresh/delicious fruit, yummy Costa Rican coffee, and hanging with Rick and the locals at the Tequila Flats Bar and Grill …
I was meant to live like that – Pura Vida!
And when I got home … sleeping in my  own bed, taking Hayleigh to TaeKwonDo,  stealing hugs from Chase, having dinner  with my family, seeing clients/friends,  homemade popcorn – Pura Vida!

That was my big lesson – Pura Vida is  another way of expressing gratitude for  the joy of being alive, present to each  moment – exhilerating in all the sensory  delights – ocean water, pineapple, toucans,  people laughing, swooshed out of a raft in  the middle of a rapid, body odor, clean  sheets - it’s all Pura Vida!
I recommend it.

The top pic is the intrepid threesome, Sharrie, Rick and me … the middle pic is us on the platform, far from the forest floor, … the bottom one is me doing a straight-vertical rappel.

Jenny Meadows, TS for Lighting the Fire Within